I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
