I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
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