things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
