I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
