i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Randomize
