NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
