I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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