Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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