i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
