you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
