that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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