Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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