You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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