plz talk dirty to me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
