Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
