He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
