why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
