Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
