is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize