i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
