maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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