My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
the condom got lost in my hair
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
