All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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