i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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