very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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