I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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