im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
