she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
