My balls are so social today.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
