My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
tell me about the eggs
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