I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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