so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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