I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
