Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
