no you cant smoke seaweed
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize