still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Randomize
