dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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