what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
false alarm. still invincible.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
