The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Randomize
