So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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