How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Shame - the story of my life.
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