I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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