dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
