so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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