There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
