I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
