Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
