He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
