Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
