I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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