I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
