I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
