420 ftw
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
The power of my boobs compel you
Randomize