Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."

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(845): View more from New York

its like an ocean threw up right in your lap

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(757): View more from Virginia

No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire

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(630): View more from Illinois

Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.

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(713): View more from Texas

Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made

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(409): View more from Texas

don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.

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(480): View more from Arizona

Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.

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