Can Purell be used as lube?
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Randomize
