i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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